27 July 2010 ~ 1 Comment

Cameron Diaz’ View on Marriage for a Lifetime: A Response

As a marriage minister, I have about 350 things to say about Cameron Diaz’ statement about not believing in love for a lifetime. She also said that marriage isn’t meant to last a life time. You can google her statement complete with all of her … uh, colorful things she says about commitment and marriage.

She doesn’t seem to respect the institution at all. Perhaps it is intimidating to her.

Some of the responses to her views are quite interesting. Some people support her of course, saying that marriage is an outdated idea. Others are pointed, like the guy who said her opinion is a defense mechanism in that she cannot keep a long-term relationship and has been dumped several times. Still others state that that is all we need, more marital advice from Hollywood.

Here is my take:

First, Cameron Diaz has a right to her opinion. But, please, let’s just receive it as that – an opinion. Also, I am curious where her statement is coming from when she asks, “Who wants to be married to the same person for 80 years?”.  (Cameron, can you not see my raised hand???)

Mostly I feel sorry for someone who goes on record as stating that love cannot last a lifetime. My wife and I – and hundreds of couples here at LifePoint Church – are in the process of proving her wrong. Sometimes it doesn’t last, I understand, but to adopt the philosophy that lifelong love is impossible appears to be down right defeatist.

Taking her thoughts on how love should be approached – the five-years-at-a-time-and-then-on-to-someone-else formula – could be devastating, especially in one’s latter years. Let’s imagine Cameron Diaz at 80 years old and she has stuck to her philosophy of “serial monogamy” all her life. In retrospect she reflects, not on a love that has gone with her through thick and thin; rather, a series of ten to twelve 5-year arrangements, that have all faded when the new wore off. No substance. No time to experience the challenges of life that forge the character of a relationship. No life journey together. No tasting of the institution created by her Creator.

I am not saying everyone needs to be married. Paul even states that in the New Testament. However, one should not attack the institution of marriage so boldly if they’ve never been there. Admittedly it is tough at times. It is frequently hard work, yet what isn’t that is worth anything?

There is no quick fix here. Love takes time.

To build trust over time through learning to handle conflict; or

to grow together in a sexual relationship through the years; or

to labor as a marriage team through the curves life throws at us; or

to dream long-term dreams side by side; or

to walk closer to the Lord, year after year after year … together.

Those are some of the qualities developed in a life time of love and marriage, not a series of short term partnerships.

Miss Diaz, you may keep your opinion. As stated above, you are entitled to it. Yet will I keep my image of marriage as well as it is being wonderfully played out as I write this. I pray that you change your mind, however, and hope when you are 80, that you are able to look back on a long love (ideally with the Lord Jesus Christ Himself in the mix). It will be an infinitely richer perspective I assure you.

And it is possible.

As Christ Himself told us: “The things that impossible with men are possible with God.” Luke 18:27

One Response to “Cameron Diaz’ View on Marriage for a Lifetime: A Response”

  1. A. 27 July 2010 at 8:02 am Permalink

    Married couples at LifePoint are such a great example for the younger sets of newlyweds within our congregation.

    Cameron’s dating cycle has been 3-5 years with a Hollywood man and then out the door.

    She’s never been married, making her comments completively subjective to the few Hollywood relationships she’s had. Perhaps if she had ever wed she could be (or at least sound) a little more objective.

    …This from the girl that received substantial defamation compensation from a tabloid for alleging she cheated on Justin Timberlake…as well as participated in a questionable “indie” film that she legally stopped from being distributed en mass.
    Maybe she should speak to Ashton and Demi about the topic, I’m sure they’d disagree!

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