15 May 2007 ~ 7 Comments

A Marriage View of Mom’s Day

Sunday was special for us. Jennifer and Natalie, our two daughters, cooked Mother’s Day lunch for us! The bad news is that they are wonderful cooks and I ate too much!

The meal was so good it was almost "painful". These two are adult ladies now. And they did a very grownup thing in fixing the meal. Such a proud day. (I was so proud that I went out and played golf with David, my son-in-law!)

The fancy-cooked meal was also a sobering – and warm – reminder that life goes on. Things that were formerly assigned only to mom can now be done by Jen and Nat. And life goes on.

Another influence our lunch had was on our marriage. It was a reassuring thing to know that our girls are moving on with their own lives and are not as dependent on us. Our marriage is adjusting to the empty nest quite well, thank-you. That is why Sunday’s experience was assuring and not depressing. Selma and I are moving into another chapter of our marriage and it feels great. And appropriate. (And I sound like we’ve been married 90 years when I say that!)

I am thankful to God that Selma and I – years ago as brand new parents -  somehow, somewhere along the way – saw the importance of investing in our own relationship while we were busy raising girls. We’d go on dates from time to time. We’d go for a walk when the kids were older. We did a lot of family stuff but we also made time for just the two of us.

We are reaping the benefits of that like crazy now. How naiive we were in a lot of ways as young parents. But that was one thing we got right. We spent time with each other – in the midst of the busyness, the crazyness of parenting our girls.

Now, with an empty nest, Selma and I are looking at our marriage today. We see what we have invested along the way. Thank God that we like what we see.

Find some time – even a few minutes each day to touch base with that mate – in the midst of life happening to you. Reconnect when you can. Steal a few moments for just the two of you. Time moves on and so does life.

Psychologist Erik Erikson had his "Eight Stages of Man" – different stages of development as humans pass through stages of life. Examples are "Trust vs Mistrust", sausage vs. pepperoni,  tastes great vs. less-filling, etc. (Okay, the last two I made up.) I learned this many years ago in college but the last stage impacted me greatly when I heard it and still "haunts" me. It is when a man is of old age and reflects back on his life. The stage is titled "Dignity vs. Despair". What’s done is done and cannot be changed. He either views it with dignity or despair.

I want you to look back on what you’ve got in your marriage with dignity. You can if you feed it along the way. You need to feel good about it  when the nest empties in your home. It can happen sooner than you might think.

7 Responses to “A Marriage View of Mom’s Day”

  1. Lisa Sallee 17 May 2007 at 2:06 pm Permalink

    I am so excited about your blog. I love listening to you and Selma at church and always come away having learned something. I have bookmarked this site and will make it part of my daily reading. No pressure…
    Thanks again for all you do.
    Lisa Sallee

  2. ruth 17 May 2007 at 5:12 pm Permalink

    Welcome to blogging. I read them all and look forward to reading more. Thanks for the example you and Selma are to us and for answering all the many questions we ask about parenting and marriage. Karl and I adore both of you and your girls, now David I don’t know about him. He is just not right.

  3. Tina 17 May 2007 at 6:45 pm Permalink

    I am thrilled to read your blog… you inspire me!!!
    Thank you for investing in marriages… with extraordinary in mind!!

  4. Amy Massengill 17 May 2007 at 8:26 pm Permalink

    Whoo-hoo, Rodney! Can I tell you how excited I am that you have a blog? No pressure now … but I expect daily pearls of wisdom that I can apply to my marriage! :) Seriously, I am looking forward to reading your heart; thank you for sharing it with us!
    Your favorite “drama queen”,
    Amy M. :)

  5. Billy Crawford 18 May 2007 at 9:46 am Permalink

    Hello Rodney!
    I am glad to see you have a blog site. I try to surf the church staff blogs every couple of days or so. I look forward to reading more in the future.
    Thanks for all that you do for so many people!

  6. Stacey Redding 21 May 2007 at 7:27 am Permalink

    What a wonderful Mother’s Day!! Your girls are all grown up. I am at home and love checking in with my church family in Tn. I was excited to see you have joined the blogging world. I will be reading to find out what is going on in the Wilson family. (in addition to the updates I read in Homelife)

  7. Tiffany VanDyke 22 May 2007 at 8:33 pm Permalink

    WooHoo! I’ve been WAITING for you to start a blog! I love listening to you and Selma and just to see how you interact with each other and your girls, it’s inspiring. Thank you for all that you do. Like the others said, no PRESSURE, but I am expecting to read lots of pearls of wisdom! heehee. My marriage is extraordinary because you have chosen to serve God with all you have. Thank you, Rodney Wilson.
    Thank you, God.

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